0302.23
22:41:08
WEEKEND UPDATE
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Hello, I’m Norm MacDonald Our Bennyfactor, and now, the fake news blog:
WELL WELL WELL I broke the engine I use to update this blog on either Odinstag or Thorstag, but spent most of Friday afternoon and Saturday morning fixing it. Also, I applied decent stylesheets to all the visible pages on the site, so, you know. They’re random, just like the first page. I’d like to make it so that they’re a little less random, you know, they match the main index, but, uh, I’ll work on that in the future. Meh.
So, I say to myself “Self? Yeah, so have I heard about this bit about Saddam Hussein admitting to the UN weapons inspector guys back in 1995 about weaponizing aflatoxin– a chemical that causes liver cancer predominately in children? Oh yeah, I have, BECAUSE I’M TALKING TO MYSELF.” I mean, seriously. Anybody going around saying that nobody has any proof that that whacko has no WMD is high on the wacky weed. If anyone saw the beginning of SNL last night, I think all the comments by Christopher Walken as the French Foreign Minister apply to these guys.
Speaking of France and SNL:
Overvoice [Word superimposed on screen]
France– [FRANCE]
Rolling countrysides,
Sprawling Vineyards, [Vineyards]
Quaint Cafes… [Cafes]
France– [FRANCE]
Home to the world’s greatest painters, [Painters]
Chefs, [Chefs]
And Anti-Semites. [Anti-Semites]
The French–
Cowardly, yet opinionated, [Cowardly]
Arrogant, yet foul-smelling, [Foul-Smelling]
Anti-Israel, Anti-American,
And of course, as always, jew-hating. [Jew-Hating]
Paris– [PARIS]
The City of Whores, [Whores]
Dog feces on every corner, [Feces]
And effeminate men yelling antisemitic remarks at children.
The real creme-de-la-creme of world culture. [A-holes]
With all that’s going on in the world,
Isn’t it about time we got back to hating The French?
Woo. But seriously. I enjoy the French language. Sure, everything Voltaire ever said about it being inherently logical is a lie, and that one French UN ambassador that wrote the poem in English to emphasize some of the apparently random spellings in our language was looking at the speck while ignoring his language’s own plank, but it is descended from Latin. It may be the bastard red-headed daughter of Latin, but it’s still family. SAVEZ VOUS?
Yeah, so I worked on these blog templates Saturday morning and afternoon. In the evening, the churchies and I were supposed to go over to the Megs’s house and do somethingorother, but do to the fact there was MASSIVE X-TREEM SNOW TOURNAMENT EDITION WITH DUAL SHOCK 64! starting at about 1730, that didn’t happen.
I would have figured they would have cancelled church on Sunday. Most of the chruches of all flovers were. However, the Nazis up at Green Valley didn’t, which is why I figure we didn’t either. I tell you, those guys would go to church if a third of the planet were on fire, and just say “Oh, look, it’s Revalation! GOD IS RAINING FIRE DOWN UPON THE HEATHEN. EVERYBODY BUT US GOES TO HELL.” I digress. There were two or three dozen people at church this morning. Oh my goodness, it was so silly. And they had prepallned the service to mainly be signing, with communion way towards the end, unlike usual, and it all worked out quite well with the way the chips fell, especially as we didn’t get there until about 9:30. No classes, but everybody hung around for about 30 or 40 minutes anyhow. We theorhetically succeded in another round of everbody’s favorite Sunday noontime game of BEAT THE BAPTISTS, but most of them forfeited in the first place, so, whatever. the afternoon was spent sleeping, because, as comrade Kruschev pointed out, “Wow man, you’re lazy.” Yeah. Furthermore, my parents want me to stop drinking Coke. Bah. Dinner was chunks of beef with a dash of stew and some CORNBREAD. It was kind of dry cornbread, though. Oh well. Two-hour delay tommorow.
WELL WELL WELL I broke the engine I use to update this blog on either Odinstag or Thorstag, but spent most of Friday afternoon and Saturday morning fixing it. Also, I applied decent stylesheets to all the visible pages on the site, so, you know. They’re random, just like the first page. I’d like to make it so that they’re a little less random, you know, they match the main index, but, uh, I’ll work on that in the future. Meh.
So, I say to myself “Self? Yeah, so have I heard about this bit about Saddam Hussein admitting to the UN weapons inspector guys back in 1995 about weaponizing aflatoxin– a chemical that causes liver cancer predominately in children? Oh yeah, I have, BECAUSE I’M TALKING TO MYSELF.” I mean, seriously. Anybody going around saying that nobody has any proof that that whacko has no WMD is high on the wacky weed. If anyone saw the beginning of SNL last night, I think all the comments by Christopher Walken as the French Foreign Minister apply to these guys.
Speaking of France and SNL:
Overvoice [Word superimposed on screen]
France– [FRANCE]
Rolling countrysides,
Sprawling Vineyards, [Vineyards]
Quaint Cafes… [Cafes]
France– [FRANCE]
Home to the world’s greatest painters, [Painters]
Chefs, [Chefs]
And Anti-Semites. [Anti-Semites]
The French–
Cowardly, yet opinionated, [Cowardly]
Arrogant, yet foul-smelling, [Foul-Smelling]
Anti-Israel, Anti-American,
And of course, as always, jew-hating. [Jew-Hating]
Paris– [PARIS]
The City of Whores, [Whores]
Dog feces on every corner, [Feces]
And effeminate men yelling antisemitic remarks at children.
The real creme-de-la-creme of world culture. [A-holes]
With all that’s going on in the world,
Isn’t it about time we got back to hating The French?
Woo. But seriously. I enjoy the French language. Sure, everything Voltaire ever said about it being inherently logical is a lie, and that one French UN ambassador that wrote the poem in English to emphasize some of the apparently random spellings in our language was looking at the speck while ignoring his language’s own plank, but it is descended from Latin. It may be the bastard red-headed daughter of Latin, but it’s still family. SAVEZ VOUS?
Yeah, so I worked on these blog templates Saturday morning and afternoon. In the evening, the churchies and I were supposed to go over to the Megs’s house and do somethingorother, but do to the fact there was MASSIVE X-TREEM SNOW TOURNAMENT EDITION WITH DUAL SHOCK 64! starting at about 1730, that didn’t happen.
I would have figured they would have cancelled church on Sunday. Most of the chruches of all flovers were. However, the Nazis up at Green Valley didn’t, which is why I figure we didn’t either. I tell you, those guys would go to church if a third of the planet were on fire, and just say “Oh, look, it’s Revalation! GOD IS RAINING FIRE DOWN UPON THE HEATHEN. EVERYBODY BUT US GOES TO HELL.” I digress. There were two or three dozen people at church this morning. Oh my goodness, it was so silly. And they had prepallned the service to mainly be signing, with communion way towards the end, unlike usual, and it all worked out quite well with the way the chips fell, especially as we didn’t get there until about 9:30. No classes, but everybody hung around for about 30 or 40 minutes anyhow. We theorhetically succeded in another round of everbody’s favorite Sunday noontime game of BEAT THE BAPTISTS, but most of them forfeited in the first place, so, whatever. the afternoon was spent sleeping, because, as comrade Kruschev pointed out, “Wow man, you’re lazy.” Yeah. Furthermore, my parents want me to stop drinking Coke. Bah. Dinner was chunks of beef with a dash of stew and some CORNBREAD. It was kind of dry cornbread, though. Oh well. Two-hour delay tommorow.
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