It's All About the Benjamins

Jump to Comments It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog thing on here that’s more than a paragraph, so I’m going to do it right now, because, you know, my culture has advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

Anyhow, I haven’t been able to sleep on anything approaching a ‘regular’ schedule this past month, so time has started turning into lyrics from late ’60s Beatles songs. It has given me the chance, though, to start eating breakfast again, which is nice, because I miss good orange juice. Orange juice is awesome, unless it comes out of a pepsi spigot in the caf, when it tastes like cruddy lemonade mixed with a twinge of off-brand tang. Oh, and bitters of some sort! Waugh. Anyhow, so breakfast. And also, the other nice thing about being at Neuhaus besides breakfast and stuff that is bigger than I am and like 500 channels of stuff and better weather and more shirts are, of course, the endless stacks of recent catalogs that are constantly invading our mailbox like some sort of unending bulk-rate Normandy beach landing. But on 8½”×11″ glossy. Anyhow, to add further to the meandering theme of this text-block (I reuse to think of it any more as a paragraph), my favorite are the J. Crew catalogs, mainly because they’ve got good stuffs for the most part. However, the wierd thing about these is that these are summer catalogs, so everybody’s outside on the beach or whatever, and they’re wearing khakis and those worn-in unlined blazers and ties and stuff. (See here.) I’m wondering, where the heck is this place that is so bright and sunny but one can still wear something like that? I don’t care about the beach or whatever, but, seriously. I was burning up on sunday wearing something similar and it was only like 85 or something outside. But, anyway, they still have the best-looking fabric belts regardless. The wearer of this belt shall possess all the powers of the ’70s super group Foreigner.

Also, since I’ve been up at weird hours I’ve watched a lot of my two new favorite TV shows, Mythbusters and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. But, like always, I really like the non-major aspects of the show better than what the thing’s marketed as. Like, seriously, that Adam Savage guy is nuts. I mean, totally crazy-go-nuts-university type nuts. But eventhough he’s the cohost of Mythbusters, he’s on there less and less which I find unfortunate. And then, of course, ATHF is great and all, but the real humorosity is derived not from the fast-food-inspired main characters, but rather, the mooninites, who have five (thousand) dimensions. In fact, you know, I think the mooninites are the cleverest concept on TV today. I mean, I’m just saying. Quiet, Err, I’m transmitting my rage!

Oh, also, now that I’m done throwing in mooninites quotes, I’d also like to say that I’ve come up with a bunch of goofy album ideas for my nonexistant ultra rock group Six Flags Over Your Mom. My current favorite: (You are now entering) AMISH COUNTRY. Some of the tunes would have titles like “luddites in my back buttonless pocket” and “Barn Razor”.

Just so you know!