0602.11
18:30:06

Who is Mike Jones Ben Lamb?

Jump to Comments I ran across one of those silly generated text-blocks that adolescent girls tend to post on their livejournal. I normally avoid posting such frivolity to fabulous iaatb.net (preferring frivolities generated by yours truly), but, since the first line of it is actually correct, I thought I’d post it.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ben Lamb!

  1. Ben Lamb is physically incapable of sticking his tongue out!
  2. Ben Lamb was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
  3. The deepest part of Ben Lamb is over 35,000 feet deep!
  4. Scientists have discovered that Ben Lamb can smell the presence of autism in children.
  5. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Ben Lamb.
  6. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed Ben Lamb would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used him to decorate their battle shields.
  7. The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Ben Lamb Head.
  8. It is impossible to fold Ben Lamb more than seven times!
  9. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and Ben Lamb would be as small as a pea.
  10. California is the biggest exporter of Ben Lamb in the world!
I am interested in – do tell me about
Oh, wait, the rest of that is all true, too.

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1 Comment

  • The Nazz Angers Haley
    GMT-0500 18:22:10 0602.12 (Sun)

    This is so unflattering! hahaha, Numbers 2 and 3 in particular. And can you blame me for this being the first thing I thought of? Maaaaaybe …

    Ten Top Trivia Tips about Haley Jane Hypes!

    1. A lump of Haley Jane Hypes the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
    2. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Haley Jane Hypes fighting underground.
    3. Haley Jane Hypes once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
    4. Haley Jane Hypes is the traditional gift for a couple on their third wedding anniversary!
    5. Human beings are the only animals that copulate while facing Haley Jane Hypes!
    6. Haley Jane Hypes kept at the window will keep vampires at bay.
    7. There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of Haley Jane Hypes orbiting the Earth.
    8. All shrimp are born as Haley Jane Hypes, but gradually mature into females.
    9. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Haley Jane Hypes, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life!
    10. Haley Jane Hypes cannot burp – there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in her stomach.