0801.20
15:12:50

I’ve read my fair share of science books. . .

Jump to Comments Yeah, I know, it’s been a while. But don’t think that the recent lack of posts has been out of total neglect for the old benjies. Oh no, nothing could be further from the truth! In fact (or, as they say in Italian, “in fatti”, which means “in facts”), the free time that would have in the past been devoted to new posts was instead focused on several projects to put new content on the site, none of which will ever see the light of day.

Certainly, you, dear reader, may be wondering why that’s the case. Well, the answer is simple: they all sucked! Cue unordered list rife with (lame attempts at) witty comments.
  • Europe on a hacked $20 disposable video camera: Okay, go watch the battle scenes from Saving Private Ryan, with all the camera shaking. Now replace 1940s Normandy with post–1990s Tuscany and the Wehrmacht with a bunch of tourists and Tom Hanks with me attempting to ad-lib snarky comments about travel videos.
    Worthwhile Alternative: Seriously, just go watch a Rick Steves’ video; they’re on PBS all the time. And then watch something funny immediately afterwards.
  • iaatb.net: the video podcast: See above, but set in my bedroom with me saying “So, uh” a lot.
    Worthwhile Alternative: Watch diggnation; the two episodes I did were like Alex Albrecht but without the beer. Or the jokes. Which is to say abysmally boring.
  • the montag mixtape: So this was going to be like a weekly podcast, with some songs that I picked out and me talking about them in between tracks. Actually this would have been a really good idea if it weren’t for the fact that I’m categorically a receiver of advice on good music rather than a giver.
    Worthwhile Alternative: Molly Morris. Or Alex. Or anybody that has good taste in music and not just because they have it spoon-fed to them from someone else.
  • funny iaatb t-shirts: Okay remember that part in that movie where Jack black is talking about making awesome T-shirts? Yeah I got about five minutes into this one before I remembered that set of quotes – “You think you’re going to create a T-shirt company? You can’t even dress yourself!”
    Worthwhile Alternative Bonus Orange County Quote: “Dude, let’s get lit and jump off my roof!”
Well, there were some more but they were so bad I can’t even remember them. Okay, enough of this, there are some idiots down in the piazza banging on a drum really loudly and I gotta figure out what the deal is.

2 Comments

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2 Comments

  • Molly
    GMT-0500 17:56:56 0801.28 (Mon)

    Aw, shucks.

  • Late to the Party Nazz
    GMT-0500 20:40:27 0802.13 (Wed)

    I love the t-shirts one. Do you have any idea how many I thought up as I typed these words? lol

    – “NIGHT WATCH” (with my head instead of a wolf, or with the original wolf, take your pick)
    – a shirt that’s nothing but $100 bills all over one another (i.e. no white space on the cotton; just greenbacks), except the catch is that Ben Franklin’s been shopped out and your likeness has been shopped in. With the same – – – – – lines that real greenbacks use and everything!
    – a navy-blue shirt which has “MTA” in big white-outlined letters vertically and “idwest urf ssociation” in smaller white letters horizontally from their respective first letters.
    – alternatively, a plain cotton tee with a steamroller and astroturf beneath it (dunno why the steamroller seems apt; it just does!) and bebeanth it reads “Midwest Turf Association”
    – a picture of a house, a plus sign, and a picture of a skillet with two fried eggs in it (plus sign is optional)
    – the Hamburglar’s likeness in stencil form (i.e. the border of his head, eyes, nose, etc. is white but the rest is the color of the shirt, e.g. black) and on the back it says “HAHE ROBBLE ROBBLE 8D”
    – same as above, except reverse front and back