It's All About the Benjamins

Jump to Comments So I ran across this link to an alphabetical list of Catholic Patron Saints by category of patronage. I thought I’d share with you some of what I feel are the best and the worst positions in that Fra Angelico painting with all the gold leaf and the long trumpets.

Cushy Patronages:

• Argentinian Air Force
• Invincible People
• Pastry Chefs
• Conquistadores
• Journalists
• People who fix potholes
• Geese (Honk honkhonk, honk honk honk honkhonk, honkhonk honk honk honk.)
• Playing Card Manufacturers
• Queens
• Solihull (and thus, I assume, patron saint of Catholic Land Rovers)
• Whales
• Yachtsmen
• Mexican Young People

Lord, grant me the hazard pay:

• Asses
• Betrayal Victims
• Dissapointing Children
• Gary, Indiana
• Stammering (rough to answer those prayers)
• Difficult Marriages
• Unjustly-lost Lawsuits

Yeah, that’s how I spent my morning. What did you do today?
Oh, also, does this mean that like S. J-the-Bizzle is my Catholic guardian angel decapitated wacky prophet? I demand answers on a silver platter.